INT. WATER TANK - NIGHT
We see a shot of a boat. Cuts to a water tank in the boat's
restaurant with two lobsters, LOBSTER 1, who's the more put
together of the two, and LOBSTER 2, who goes along with
anything Lobster 1 says. They are having a rather panicked
conversation.
LOBSTER 1
AHHHHHH!
LOBSTER 2
Why are you yelling, bro?
LOBSTER 1
The humans are preparing to eat us!
LOBSTER 2
Oh... AHHHHHH.
LOBSTER 1(SNIFFLING)
I had a wife. Kids. A good life.
LOBSTER 2
I can't believe this is it. I had so
much planned for my life.
LOBSTER 1
Oh, Noreen. I'll never see her again.
LOBSTER 2
I'll never get to be a singer.
LOBSTER 1
Damn net! I can't believe I fell for
it.
LOBSTER 2
It's ok man, happens to the best of
us. My granddad was taken last Monday.
LOBSTER 1
Oh no, I'm so sorry.
LOBSTER 2
Sorry about Noreen.
HUMAN 1(O.S)
Oh, I love Bach!
HUMAN 2(O.S)
A dance to it then, my dear?
LOBSTER 1
Noreen would've hated this stupid
music they're playing.
LOBSTER 2
And the stupid food - wait, is that
salmon they're serving?!
LOBSTER 1
(disgusted by the sight)
Sammy my salmon friend was taken last
week. I bet you that's him on that
plate right there.
LOBSTER 2
(exclamation)
Bro, the human is coming towards us!
We're doomed! AHHHHHH!
LOBSTER 1
AHHHHHH-
A loud boom is heard and the tank rattles, they abruptly stop
screaming.
LOBSTER 1
(with a sudden sense of calm)
Wait.
LOBSTER 2
Dude, what was that?
HUMAN 3 (O.S)
I ask that everyone remains calm and
seated while I explain, please!
LOBSTER 1
The boat. I think it hit something.
The humans - they're yelling. They're
panicking.
LOBSTER 2
Can you hear what they're saying?
Lobster 1 smushes his face to the glass.
LOBSTER 1
Something about an iceberg...
LOBSTER 2
Yoo! Icebergs are cool, man.
HUMAN 4 (O.S)
JACK! Has anyone seen Jack? Excuse me,
have you seen Jack?
LOBSTER 2
What the hell is a Jack?
LOBSTER 1
Shhh!
LOBSTER 2
(whispering loudly)
What the hell is a Jack?
LOBSTER 1
Wait a second, now they're really
panicking.
HUMAN 5(O.S)
Run for the boats, the titanic is
flooding! She's going down!
LOBSTER 1
(exclamation)
YOOOOOO!
LOBSTER 2
YOOOOO! Bro, does that mean-
LOBSTER 1
We're saved! The humans fucked it up!
Karma, you overfishing, ocean
exploiting assholes!
LOBSTER 2
YEAH! NATURE WINS BRO!
LOBSTER 1
(with evident relief)
I've never been so happy that humans
boil us alive to eat us.
LOBSTER 2
RIP our fishy friends.
LOBSTER 1
Oh, Sammy. We will remember you!
LOBSTER 2
(yelling to the humans)
Screw you motherfuckers, you and your
big fancy boat!
LOBSTER 1
And your shitty fancy music!
LOBSTER 2
And your shitty notion that seafood is
fancy food!
LOBSTER 1
I'm coming back for you, Noreen!
LOBSTER 2
I'm gonna be a singer!
The room floods, cut to-
INT. OCEAN FLOOR - NIGHT
The ship has sunk. Pieces of the ship float down to the ocean
floor as Lobster 2 sings "My Heart Will Go On" and Lobster 2
reunites with his wife, Noreen.